50 Months: Aug 8, 2018

By August 8, 2018 July 19th, 2019 Journey

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.”

— LEO TOLSTOY

I sat by the calm lake this morning knowing it was the 8th, cognizant that it has been 50 months, somewhat baffled as to how that could be. I let some of the day pass. The lake still calm, I got in the kayak and paddled.  For a long time.  I finally turned around.  As I headed home I came upon a loon who seemed unperturbed by my presence.  He rested calmly on the water and then, in a silent second he was gone, only to reemerge somewhere quite different.  I watched as he repeated this many times, in no hurry, always reappearing somewhere else.  It occurred to me that this is like my grief.  It swallows me up until I can reemerge, always someplace a little different, unpredictable in frequency, never ending up in the same place twice.  Today as I fight to hold on to each day, I stop to mark time, as I do each month, and am grateful to the loon.

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