Dragonflies

There is no greater gift for a bereaved parent than to know that her child is remembered. I am humbled knowing that my daughter continues to be remembered by so many. I know this because of dragonflies.

You see, after she died I started seeing dragonflies. I’d see them in places where they shouldn’t have been. I’d see them at times when I didn’t think I could live through another day. There were times when I desperately wanted to see them, but they’d fail to appear. Yet my sightings weren’t random. And I knew they were her coming to me. I knew that as clearly as I knew that she was always with me.

I told my family and friends that dragonflies carried her spirit to me. Did they roll their eyes? Maybe. Did they express their concerns about me to others? Maybe. But something very wonderful also happened. They started bringing me dragonflies. I have dragonfly sculptures, pins, earrings, paintings…and that is just a sampling. And they started sharing their dragonfly stories with me. They would see them on a walk or in yoga class, and just as I experienced, it was often when least expected. With every dragonfly story that has been shared, and every memento received, I have been given the most precious gift of all – the knowledge that my daughter is remembered.

If you see me when it is warm outside and I am wearing something sleeveless you’ll see my dragonfly tattoos. Ask me about them. They allow me to speak her name. That too is a priceless gift.

I have a fervent wish that will never come true – that I am the last bereaved parent that you’ll ever meet. Next time you meet someone who has lost a child, instead of struggling to find appropriate words of condolence ask them about their child. Give them the gift of letting them say their child’s name. If you can, share a memory. Give them the gift of knowing their child is remembered. And when you see a dragonfly know that to at least one bereaved mother it is the most precious gift of all.

Welcome to Dragonfly Karma. Thank you for being here with me.