“Superstition is the need to view the world in terms of simple cause and effect.”
—BERNARD BECKETT
January is supposed to be easy. February is supposed to be hard. January was not easy. It erupted over something trivial. It was January 8th of a new year and as I compulsively do on the 8th of every month, I sat down to capture and post my thoughts. Only this time technology rose up and wouldn’t let me log in. It said I didn’t exist. I freaked. Somewhere in the chasm of my grief, superstition rose up and sent me on a spiral of crazy. Every fear that a bereaved mom has about love lost and memories fading took hold of me and held fast. A patient, tech savvy friend fixed the easy problem. But it took my wise beyond his year’s son and patient husband to help me fix the hard ones. My son showed me how to give myself permission to let go of my superstitions. I don’t have to post every month. My memories will always be with me and love will never be lost. January passed and those things held true. Then February arrived and my husband baked me a birthday cake. I don’t usually eat cake but I ate a lot of this cake. Today I finished the last piece. I feel filled with love. Sometimes you just have to eat the cake! February is going to be all right.
Dear Lisa
I’m going on 13 months and 2 weeks since I lost Don. I’m doing well. However, little things will trigger me until I’m all cried out. When I cry,
I tell myself, I’m washing my windows to see more clearly and to sort out problems. It sucks!!! But, we are all doing the best we can to keep memories alive?❣️XXOO
I love your window washing analogy! And it definitely sucks. Love you!