55 months: Jan 8, 2019

By January 8, 2019 July 19th, 2019 Journey

“It’s so curious; one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief.  But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer… and everything collapses.”


I marched through the holidays with focus and resolve. I surrounded myself with quiet calm and only my closest family through the New Year.  And then I cried at Mary Poppins. One minute I was dancing in my seat, and then all of the sudden I was full on sobbing. All it took was a simple quiet song about love and loss to take me from feeling childlike joy to the depths of grief in mere seconds. That was two days ago. Today is 1,675 days since my world first collapsed. I am still processing how that much joy and pain can continue to coexist in my soul. I can call forth both emotions by the mere glance at her picture. Who knew that Mary Poppins could do the same?

Join the discussion 4 Comments

  • Amy Robins says:

    Oh Lisa…I so feel you. It’s like a spark out of nowhere. No rhym. No reason. (Unless you dissect it)
    My love to you in this new year. Xoxo Amada

  • Mickey Pek says:

    Love you!

  • Shelley says:

    I had a strong emotional response to the Mary Poppins, too. My childhood was filled with songs, dancing and laughter until 1970. Our losses are different yet I cried through Mary Poppins Returns, too.

    Love your blog and this quote is especially poignant. I’m glad we don’t have to “behave” the way society expects us to. And, I’m glad we can write about it and share out thoughts with others. We are all in this world together, it helps if we hold hands along the way.